I’m angrier than a pig without mud over the fact that I didn’t do something much, much sooner about what I’m going to discuss here. My current wife, my second one, is my wife, but now she is such only on paper as far as I’m concerned. Yes, we’re still legally married and have been since January 24, 2004, having been married in Las Vegas. Well, technically, in North Las Vegas. But that’s not important right now.
I’ve been unhappy for a long time now and I couldn’t figure out why. Then it dawned on me: I’m not at all happy in my marriage. There’s only one remedy for that, readers. That remedy? Divorce. It will be my second one. The first time, my wife left me. This time, I’m leaving my wife. Not that I’m keeping score or anything like that.
I mentioned before that I formally left the “Mormon” church last Sunday. According to the LDS church, we are married for time and all eternity. Whereas I once believed that, I don’t believe that for one minute anymore. But I did kneel down wearing a temple garment, green apron and baker’s hat at the altar, in a room filled with mirrors that symbolize eternity, in the church’s Hartford Connecticut Temple. I take responsibility for that stupid, but non-consequential choice.
The temple sealing was never real and that’s why I did it. I just wanted to shut her up about it all. She’d been going on and on about the temple for years and years.
I don’t know how it works, according to the church. When I formally left the church, that tore apart our sealing as far as I know. After all, she can’t be “sealed” (bound for time and all eternity, according to the church) to a non-member. She has already been advised by a former leader of my former congregation to leave me and “build a new life without [me].” I strongly recommend that she does that.
Once my resignation is processed by church headquarters in Salt Lake City, Utah, which should be done today, her records will merely indicate that, for now, she’s still married to me, but that’s about it. My records will be put in a “confidential” status and there it will stay forever.
Yes, even though I resigned and asked for my records to be removed, I will forever be on the church’s records, albeit in a different database. And there’s nothing I can do to be totally wiped off the records. Pity. But since the church isn’t true, it doesn’t really bother me. I mean, when you cancel a service, you’re likely in their database forever. There’s not much I or you can do about that.
What will likely happen is that she’ll stay sealed to me, at least on paper, until such time as she finds another guy stupid enough to get with her. Then, they’ll send me a letter asking my thoughts on her getting sealed to a different guy. Of course, I won’t respond (I wouldn’t have a problem with that, believe me!) and just like that, she’ll be some other guy’s problem.
I don’t know how the divorce is going to play out legally. At the end of the month, I am leaving for parts unknown. I’ll probably wind up in Las Vegas, where it’ll just be quicker and easier for me to file. The residency requirement is minimal. There’s not much to split, so it’ll go by quickly.
Until then, we rotate sleeping on the couch and in the bed. I don’t want to be near her, let alone in the same home as her. I can’t wait for the day that the divorce is final. I should have never married her to begin with.
I’ve already been in relationships with other females, all inappropriate. I had one guy at school hit on me, but that’s not my thing. However, it’s flattering. I mean…I’ll admit to being a little curious. Maybe I should have gotten his phone number. Ah, well.
My “relationships” were mostly just physical, but one has been not only that, but emotional as well. It’ll hurt to leave her behind. Unless, of course, she wants to move with me, but she’s born and raised here, so I doubt that she will. I haven’t told her I’m leaving yet.
The day the divorce is finalized, months from now, will be the happiest day for me. My first divorce wasn’t sad or painful at all, even though it probably should have been. We just had no business being married to each other. This second divorce will be a relief more than a source of trauma.
I can’t stand being married to her anymore and it’s time to start building a new life without her in another state. She’ll be fine. And so will I.