Is the End Nigh?

 I’m angrier than a fly without wings near a pile of crap over this next one.  Two of the biggest religions in the world, Catholicism and Mormonism, are led by well-known men.  The Catholic Church’s own Pope Francis and Mormonism’s Russell M. Nelson are both getting up in their years, and today, Francis asked the Catholic faithful to pray for him.  Nelson hasn’t been seen or heard from in weeks.  Is one of them close to death?  Are they both? 

If Francis is near death, why are we only seeing snapshots?  Why is he asking for prayers?  The faithful should have the right to know.  I suppose Mormons have the right to know about the condition of their leader, but quite frankly, I couldn’t possibly care less.

Francis’ health is apparently so frail that he had to cancel a scheduled appearance on Friday.  Why?  Are his ailments expected to bring to a close his era of leadership?  Who will be the next pope, if so?

What’s more, Francis, 87, has been seen a wheelchair of late.  This is starting to look serious and thus far, the Church has chosen to remain mute on the matter.  Why do I get the sneaky suspicion that we’re not going to learn a damn thing until the news breaks that he died, setting in force a long serious of events?

When Nelson, 99, dies, the way things are handled is etched in stone and the leadership continues.  Unlike the Catholic Church where cardinals vote and vote and vote until a pope is chosen and white smoke appears, the next leader of the LDS church is already known: a douche bag by the name of President Dallin H. Oaks, based on tradition established by known con man Joseph Smith, will within days take over.

In the Catholic Church, however, the next pope will not be announced until one is chosen by way of votes, so no one knows.  Is that procedure about to be set in motion?  Pope Francis has been an outspoken and controversial pope, so will the next pope pick up where he left off?

Clearly, there are more questions than answers.  The next few days, it seems, will be very telling.  What I do know is that every news establishment in the world will be pushing breaking news alerts to iPhones and Androids when the pope dies.  When Nelson does, no one will give a crap except for Salt Lake City media outlets.  That should tell you something about how important the Mormon church is to the world: not very.

If Mormons want to know if their pathetic leader is dead or dying is to see what happens this weekend at their General Conference, boring weekends that happen twice a year.  If he’s not seated at his chair of power on Saturday at noon, they’ll know something is wrong.

Anyway, just like Mormons, but with a religion not found by a lying con artist by the name of Joseph Smith, Catholics worldwide have no choice but to sit back and wait.  Maybe the pope has more months and years in him, but based on the past few days alone, the end may come sooner rather than later.