There I was, minding my own business. I just got home from work an hour ago. A few minutes after I did so, my doorbell rang. Now, I had just ordered a pizza, and my pizza place is fast, but not that fast. So, being mildly interested in seeing who would dare violate my sanctuary after a day of working with grown adults who act like petulant children, I opened the door. Big mistake!
There he stood. Some dude in political clothing with a tablet. He started off by showing me a list of addresses on that tablet. “This is confusing. Are you Michael Crook?” I confirmed that I am, despite the fact that I’ve worked for the Elections Board before and I recognize the software, software that only a retard would find confusing.
Despite the fact that I didn’t know who he was or what his major malfunction was, I confirmed my name, given that I have no reason to hide from anyone. The next words out of his filthy sewer were, “The mayor’s office…” Yeah, I cut him off mid-sentence.
I firmly told him, “not interested,” and I politely but firmly closed the door on him as he spoke. When he heard me lock the door, he said, “uh, okay. Thank you.” He stood there for a beat and then took the hint and walked away. He never even tried to harass the neighbors. Interesting. Now, I get that he’s trying to do whatever it is he feels he needs to do, but the last person I want to hear from would be our mayor.
No, I am not bitter. Yes, I should be mayor, but as many of my readers know, I had to drop out of the mayoral campaign before it really started for health reasons. I should have stayed in and had I done so, I sincerely believe that I would have won. But I made my choice and I stand by it. No, this isn’t about that.
What it is about is this: the city of Albany deserves a better mayor than it currently has. The last thing our city needs is a black mayor. I firmly believe that Albany needs and deserves a White male and a Republican as its mayor.
But that didn’t happen.
The voters spoke and unfortunately they voted for a black woman who, over the course of the next four years, will ruin Albany. I don’t agree with those who voted for her, but that’s the price you pay for living in a democracy. I’m okay with a female mayor (as long as that mayor isn’t trans). I can swallow my pride and grudgingly accept a Democrat as our mayor, but I am not happy with a black one.
Anyway, on to the point: as soon as he said he was from “the mayor’s office,” I cut him off. I will not stand there and listen to what a black mayor has to say. I can accept the fact that I dropped out too early and that I am not now the mayor. I will fix that three years from now. I don’t know what this dude wanted and I don’t care.
If “the mayor’s office” is reaching out to me directly (which I doubt, given that he had a tablet with numerous addresses), then they know how to reach me. I am quite easy to find. If the mayor truly has something to say to me exclusively, let her come on over so I can shut the door in her face as well.
I’m not even remotely interested in anything she or her office has to say. I don’t give a single damn about what she or her office wants from me (and others, apparently). Now, if our mayor were male, white and Republican, I would have given him all of the time in the world. Hell, I’d invite him in for tea and crumpets. But this is not that.
I will not be spoken to by a black mayor. I just won’t, no matter what the message is. This isn’t an election cycle, so I don’t know why this guy’s canvassing. I could understand if there was an election going on, but there isn’t.
There is nothing that the mayor’s office could possibly want from me and there is nothing I will do to help a black mayor in any way, shape or form. If anything comes my way from her or her office, whether it be a phone call, an email or another canvasser, I will shut it down right away. There is absolutely nothing that the mayor or her office can say to make me listen.
Now to the point: why is the mayor’s office harassing me (and others, so it appears) when there is no election? What’s in it for her and her office? And what’s in it for the people who are running around at this very moment, knocking on doors and ringing doorbells? There is no valid reason for these people to be out there, harassing people who just got home from dealing with 8 hours of working with…well…assholes.
I am sending a link to this article to her office. If they have a response, I will update this article. The mayor, who does not deserve the honor of being addressed by name, at least not by me, needs to stop sending people to harass people who just got home from work and who just want to enjoy a pizza and Netflix and chill.
If the mayor herself reads this (I doubt it), I would ask her this question: why are you allowing people to go out while representing you? Why now? What is so damned important that you have to have your minions disrupt my evening? I’m not hurting anyone. I’m not breaking any laws. I’m minding my own business doing whatever it is that Michael Crooks do, and this is the thanks I get?
Now, me being me, I have to share the harassment with the media. Since the local NBC affiliate was the only television station to interview me last year about my campaign, I reached out to them and their assignment editor exclusively. He sounded curious when I said people are canvassing when an election is not going on. I am fairly certain that others will be contacting them as well.
Also me being me, I sent everyone in her office a message that you can read at the bottom of this article.
I am not naive; I know the mayor’s office isn’t targeting me specifically. If they were, they have multiple ways to find me and I have multiple cruel but lawful ways of telling them to pound sand. Or, as it were, telling them to slip on a patch of black ice. I would love to see the mayor slip on said black ice and suffer a severe head injury. And maybe, as atonement for having people intrude on my evening, a broken limb or two.
It’s bad enough that we have a black mayor. I don’t need a black mayor harassing me, even if it is by proxy. It’s kind of like Pink Floyd: hey mayor, leave us kids alone!