Readers who have been visiting my site over the past twenty years know that I always love a story that involves people getting what’s coming to them. So it is today. A couple of days ago, the Albany Police Department experienced the loss of one of its own. That person is, or rather was, one Jan Mika, 48, who had been with the department for quite some time.
Various reports indicate that he “died suddenly,” which is pretty much a polite way of saying that he committed suicide. That doesn’t surprise me. Sooner or later, scumbags realize that they’re scumbags and they know that the only way of being at least somewhat of an honorable scumbag is to take themselves out. So it is here, it seems.
Mika’s tenure at the department was controversial to say the least. He was initially a patrolman who was promoted to detective. It became apparent that he was unable to do that simple job and he was bumped down to dog trainer. When that failed (big surprise), he became a rank-and-file officer again. Yes, he was that much of a failure.
Unfortunately, Mika and I had something in common: Catholicism. Thankfully, we were not parishioners at the same parish. Having to stand in the Communion line with him would have bothered me greatly. I would certainly have told the priest what kind of a man Mika was.
Given the horrible person that Mika was, he should not get a funeral Mass. Rather, he should be dumped into the ground without a casket and then piled upon by dirt where predatory animals can drag him out and devour his evil, vile corpse. Even that’s too good for the guy.
Back in 2017, Mika was, according to a police report, involved in a case regarding material that someone wrote about a fellow officer. The article in question did cross a line, but the article in question did not rise to the level of needing to have its author face physical violence.
Still, Mika was involved in a meaningful manner in a scheme where he, allegedly with the help of others, coerced and likely paid deputies at the county jail to repeatedly physically and sexually assault an inmate that Mika didn’t like. Based upon information and belief, he provided deputies with written material designed to enrage the deputies.
To put it another way, Mika used someone’s controversial and needlessly inflammatory but essentially harmless words as a weapon. Mika at all times knew exactly what he was doing and he did so with malice and with the intent of bringing serious bodily injury to someone that he did not like. It is frightening to realize that Mika had easy access to guns, but then again, maybe it was a good thing, as you’ll read in a moment.
By the way, based upon the information that I received from the sheriffs office’s internal affairs, those deputies were not in any way held accountable in any meaningful manner by Craig Apple, the sheriff. The blue line remains strong, even when unjustified assault is involved. It’s no surprise then that Mika faced no consequences for his role in that assault. That can be neither forgiven nor forgotten.
Mika certainly abused his power. He was unable or unwilling to separate his personal feelings from the professionalism that a detective or any other member of the police department needs to have. That is why he was a horrible human being. When I heard about what he did back then, I hoped that he would one day experience a slow and painful death.
Hopefully, that is the way that it happened.
When the news of his cowardly death popped up on my Facebook feed, I rejoiced. He finally got what he deserved for what he did to the author of that article: death. And again, I hope that it was suicide (bullies like him usually turn out to be cowards). I hope that it was miserable, slow and painful beyond words. But even that manner of death would still be too good for him.
Assuming that he did commit suicide, and “died suddenly” usually supports that theory, I hope that he went out in the way that he deserved: with his service weapon in his mouth. That may sound unkind, but that would have been the best way for Mika to exit stage left. But then again, that manner of death is usually quick and painless, so hopefully he got it wrong and went out slowly as his brain matter splattered against the wall.
You might notice that the local mainstream media has remained silent in regards to Mika’s well-deserved death. That’s because they tend to gloss over suicides as even to this day, it’s considered cowardice to kill oneself. This works out great, because Mika’s death is not newsworthy enough to warrant local media coverage. I think it’s hilarious that he’s being ignored by conventional media outlets.
It is a good day now that he’s dead. Slowly but surely, I’m seeing people involved in that whole 2017 matter face justice in one way or another. In Mika’s case, it looks as if he left this world the same way that he entered: miserable and crying. I wish he’d livestreamed his suicide. That would have been a great Christmas present!
The best part of all of this is that I didn’t need to do anything to exact my revenge. Time took care of that for me!
The APD is certainly better off without him. And to be perfectly frank, the city, county, state, nation and world is far better off without him. If he brought kids into this world, and thankfully, I don’t believe that he did, they are far better off without him, as are the rest of us.
UPDATE 12/30/2025 at 6:45 p.m.
Since this article was published, new information has been presented to me. Mika was with the APD for 22 years. That’s over two decades without any true accomplishments. Sorry, but training dogs is not an accomplishment. It’s a punishment. Twenty years and he failed as a detective. A defective detective as it were! He got busted down to being a patrolman, making him a failure in life and in death.
I have also been informed that Mika did in fact have a wife (stupid bitch) and children (I pity them), all of whom will be better off without him.
The mayor of Albany ordered flags in the city to be flown at half-staff to honor a scumbag and a coward. Only cowards commit suicide. His funeral Mass was held today with full departmental honors. So they’re honoring suicidal cowards now? They’re honoring scumbags who order deputies to assault people over things they write? Really?
I find it interesting that the department hid the truth. Yes, he was off duty. Yes, he “died suddenly.” But why did they not tell the truth, the truth being that one of their own was a coward?
I repeat: the entire world is better off without Mika slithering around like the snake he was. I remain happy over this. One by one, the people involved in that 2017 incident are getting theirs. The best part is that I didn’t have to do anything. Time did it for me!
A few people still need to get their comeuppance but again, I won’t have to do anything. Time and karma will visit them and I will laugh when it happens.
One person, a police officer involved in the incident, was fired for driving drunk not once, but twice. He lost his job and career and was so afraid of me and what I did to him that he gathered up his family and fled to another county. So that’s one down. No apologies on this end.
I’ve handled two other people involved and I did so within the confines of the law. They have me to thank for a little misery that came their way. Sure, it wasn’t as much misery as they deserve, but every dog has his day and that day was mine. Woof! They’re welcome!
There are three people, and they know who they are, who still await justice for what they did in 2017, but they need not fear me or anything I’m capable of doing. And I’m capable of a lot, believe me. No, they need only fear time and they need only fear karma and, quite frankly, justice.
I’ll happily bide my time, waiting for their misery, whether it’s in the form of an innocent and uninvolved loved one dying at the hands of a drunk driver or something or in the form of, preferably, suicide, just like their cowardly buddy.
Look, I’ll basically take whatever misery and agony I can get. Hell, I’ll even take a line-of-duty death at the hands of some poor, deranged son of a bitch, even if it means the department will honor another scumbag.
Now, as for Mika? He was clearly mentally deranged and he was dangerous. He could have killed someone else rather than himself. So what other psychos are on the streets?
Good riddance to a scumbag of the highest order. I can’t express how gleeful I was when I learned of his death. It was so sexual for me that my wife got laid twice. It would have been thrice, but I guess there’s not as much thumping for the pumping as there used to be. It happens as you get older.
There is a follow-up article. Read it here.