On Saturday, I discussed the fact that a Catholic police officer committed suicide here in Albany. Despite that grave matter and mortal sin, he was given a Funeral Mass. That disgusts me. But this article is not about him. It’s about how a priest handled the issue. I am still enraged over it all, so here comes another article!
The priest who presided over that officer’s Mass happens to be the priest who oversees several parishes due to understaffing. One of those parishes is the one that I currently attend. I have been there since I first started being interested in becoming a Catholic. Almost four years later, and this priest has done an awesome job, especially given that he has more than one parish to preside over.
He is the priest who baptized and confirmed me. He is the priest who allowed me to serve in various capacities in my home parish. That is why what he did still has me reeling. It is my belief that as Jan Mika committed suicide, the officer was not in a state of grace. Unless he somehow got last rites after blowing his brains out, he was not absolved.
Therefore, he should have been denied a Catholic funeral. And yes, the same applies to me: had I been the one who committed suicide, I should be denied a Mass. But apparently, committing suicide is being met with approval in the Church these days. That shouldn’t be.
Prior to 1983, priests were forbidden to allow Funeral Masses for those who committed suicide. Even though that stance has softened somewhat, I firmly believe that suicide remains a mortal sin. Unless absolution is given before one’s final breath is drawn, that person should not receive any form of a Catholic funeral. I do recognize that that is not my call to make, but I can still have an opinion on the matter.
So what do you do when you disagree with an otherwise awesome priest? You protest! But given that it is Mass, there is a proper way to do so. What you are not entitled to do is in any way disrupt Mass. You are not entitled to go around the sanctuary and tell people why you’re upset with that priest. In this case, it’s simply a matter of a good priest doing something that could in theory be considered to be stupid, so there’s no need for drama.
What to do, what to do? I have come up with the ultimate form of protest and, yes, disrespect. When the priest is giving his homily, you whip out your smartphone and browse stuff while he’s speaking. Were I to do it, it would be absolutely disrespectful, especially given that I always sit in the front row, right where he can see me.
My form of protest does not rely on disruption. It does not rely on making a scene or causing drama. It simply sends a soft but firm message: he fucked up. It’s kind of sad, because I really do like the guy. He showed up at my parish around the same time that I started going there. He’s always been a good leader and a good priest.
While I do trust that he knows what he’s dong and that he knows what he can and cannot do as a priest, I firmly believe that those who commit suicide should not be rewarded. A Funeral Mass is a form of reward. Thus, the officer in question should have been denied, but no, he was treated like a hero after doing something so cowardly.
This same priest will preside over my convalidation on the 24th. This is apt, given that he assisted me through the annulment process, something that took two years to complete. Now that my first marriage is annulled, I am now free to have my current marriage (to a non-Catholic) recognized by the Catholic Church. It’s not mandatory, especially given that my wife is a die-hard Mormon, but it’s something that I’ve been looking forward to.
I have to admit that when I found out that he was the one who presided over that coward’s funeral, I thought about canceling the convalidation altogether rather than finding another parish or priest. But after a day of reflection, I recognize that doing so would be hypocritical as well as rude.
How is it hypocritical, you may ask? Well, if I have someone else do the convalidation, then I may as well not take Communion at any Mass that he oversees. I may as well not even attend a Mass that he conducts at all. Upon seeing him prepare, I should turn around and go home.
Of course, doing those things would be absolutely self-destructive, hypocritical, rude and unjustified.
The big question is: do I still respect and recognize his authority as a priest? The answer to that is obvious: I do. Even though he made a call that I disagree with, he is still a priest and he is still the one in charge of not just one but three parishes. The Church is not just his job, it’s his life.
You don’t turn your back on someone like that no matter if you disagree with a move he made or not. You just don’t. Accordingly, I am comfortable with him doing the convalidation. Look, when you’re a leader, you’re bound to make calls that people disagree with. That doesn’t make you any less of a leader. So it is here.
Yesterday, I was angrily confronted by someone in my parish in regards to things that I’ve written on this website. Although I am not a fan of censoring myself even if someone is hurt or offended, I do hold myself accountable.
I did write articles that supported the Medical Aid in Dying Act here in New York state. I further stated that I would avail myself of that option if it were to ever become law. As a Catholic, that was inappropriate and quite possibly, it was a venial sin.
It’s important to note that I never actually approved of the bill. It’s also imperative to make it clear that I would never commit suicide at all, whether assisted or not. As I’ve been writing recently, suicide is never the answer. It is cowardice and a mortal sin. I stand with the Catholic Church in regards to opposing this bill.
Look, I was simply trolling. As stated, I never truly supported the bill and I truly would never off myself like a cowardly little bitch. Those posts were the ultimate troll, but apparently, some people did not see it for what it was and they took issue and complained to my parish. It took several months for anyone to say anything about it to me. Months. That silence ended yesterday and that person had every right to call me out on it.
I was only ever after clicks and views. I should have used what little power I may or may not have for good, not for evil, even if it was just a troll.
Following a productive discussion with the appropriate people, the articles in question were voluntarily removed yesterday. In their place is a notice that explains why the articles were removed and it explains that I was wrong. And I was wrong. Assisted suicide is just as bad as unassisted suicide. Both show a disregard for human life and both are disrespectful to God.
Upon reflection, I felt that my words warranted a seat in the Confessional booth. I will not discuss anything regarding that as of course what happens in Confession stays in Confession, but I will say again that I made it seem as if I stand in opposition to the Church’s teachings, even though I do not.
I simply should not have written those articles and instead I should have published articles in opposition to the legislation. It has been brought to my attention that some people feel that I am a public personality, perhaps even an influencer as I am in the public eye. I don’t know about all of that, but the message was received: my words do have an impact.
I do regret writing those particular articles. But that’s where it ends. It was also brought to my attention that many of my articles have caused some people hurt feelings and quite a bit of discomfort. For those posts, I cannot and will not apologize, because I have no obligation to apologize for writing what I believe to be the truth.
Though I do not apologize, I do admit that I would be a better person if I toned things down and perhaps phrased things a little differently. But what’s done is done. I will not remove those articles and I will not cease writing with bombastic intensity, even if it makes some people cry. The goal is never to cause any form of distress, but I will not apologize.
The goal, at least when it comes to this website, is to use my megaphone to voice my opinions. If people can’t handle that, then perhaps it’d be best for them to never visit this site again. Believe me, I won’t miss those people.
As for the articles pertaining to the bill, I sincerely regret writing them, especially the ones that defied the Church’s teachings on the sanctity of life, even if it was a joke.
Some people didn’t see the humor and acted accordingly. As for why it took four months for anyone to say anything, especially since I saw that person on a weekly basis during that time frame, I can’t answer that. If it’d been a serious matter, it’s my guess that I would have been confronted sooner.
I have also been informed that my posts on my website and on social media have been hindering my progress within Church service. I am now simply an usher. It is my belief that I have been forbidden to lector, altar serve or serve in the sacristy because of what I’ve written. Recent discussions have solidified that belief.
Although I have a true desire to serve others as a eucharistic minster, I recognize that they don’t want me in such a position given my articles and postings. I understand and respect the decision to only let me serve as an usher. Though I do have a sincere desire to serve as a EM, I will absolutely not censor myself in order to achieve that goal. If that’s the way it has to be, then I will consider it the cost of doing business.
I have been at this for over two decades. I have lost jobs, relationships and opportunities over what I’ve written. Again…CODB. I will not censor myself in order to get ahead in life, even if it costs dearly. Such is life.
I never have cared about hurt feelings or bruised egos. For example, I will never apologize for writing the articles about that cowardly officer. I couldn’t care less if I’ve hurt people. That was not the intent, but if it is the outcome, then anyone who is waiting for an apology will be waiting for a long time.
If I truly meant to hurt people, believe me, I would have taken it up a few notches. When it comes to discussing the cowardly, suicidal cop, I have been using kid gloves. If people want me to turn up the heat, just let the tiger out of his cage and watch him go full nuclear.
I realize that after writing the posts about the officer, I once again have a target on my back when it comes to the law enforcement community and when it comes to city government.
Never one to be retarded, I fully expect someone to find my place of employment (no one has succeeded thus far) and send examples of my writings to them. They will then cause my employer to part ways with me, leaving me without income. I’m ready for that. Been there, done that. No apologies, no remorse. I will never regret calling out a coward, even when that coward’s dead.
As for the whole holding a Mass for a suicidal coward thing, I can look past what I believe to be a poor decision as I truly believe that he meant well. It angers me and it makes me want to vomit, but I do know that he did what he truly believed to be the right decision. Though I disagree with him, I have not lost respect for him.
Just disappointed is all.