I almost got arrested today, y’all! Seems I was a little speedy today, so I got pulled over. The cop asks for my docs and as I’m getting them, he asked if I have anything in the car that he needs to know about.
So…and those of you who know me won’t be shocked…I said that yes there is. I told him I have a bunch of coke in the trunk. He got wide-eyed and asked for permission to search my vehicle. He had me and my passenger, who was laughing so hard she was almost in tears, step out and sit on the sidewalk. Well, that’s procedure, so no worries.
All the while, I’m trying hard not to laugh.
He opened my trunk and…yup, true to my word, I had coke alright. Six packs, twelve packs, bottles, you name it. I love the stuff. I have enough Coke in the house to last three months or more.
At this point, we both died laughing. He didn’t. Not even a flicker of a grin. Nothing at all. He walked back to his car and, of course, gave out tickets.
I’m willing to bet that he ran us both (yes, he asked for her license as well) through every possible database to see if he could haul us, or preferably, me, in for something. Anything. But his search bore no fruit. Not even a baby strawberry. He saw no humor in the situation.
I was merely trying to brighten his day, if even for a moment, and he didn’t understand the assignment. He told us to get out of here before he finds a reason to haul me in. Well, that’s just it: he found no reason.
I don’t know if he went hardcore on me because of a harmless play on words or because he recognized me, as most Albany Police Department officers and detectives do.
Either way, he was a boring, humorless guy who probably hasn’t been laid in a few days.
No regrets!