I’ve made no secret of the fact that I have a biological daughter. In fact, I wrote two articles about the situation. It is absolutely true that I never wanted or loved her. Apparently, that runs in the biological family.
My birth father threatened to “make a cute baby not so cute.” He intended to slice me up with a knife. That happened when I was two years old. Of course, my mother took me and we both fled for my safety and hers.
By the time that my mother divorced my father, we were both safe and sound somewhere in Oregon, the state in which I was born. I would go on to live there until the age of nine.
My father, Bruce Allen Crook, always had the ability to reach out and make arrangements to have supervised visits. My grandmother, who has been deceased for quite some time, always told me that he has her number and, essentially, the ball’s in his court.
He never picked up the ball. Given how much I hated my biological daughter, I can now totally appreciate why he never called. But when I was in my mid-twenties, I was curious about his side of the story. Not for one second did I think my mother and grandmother would lie about what he did. They had nothing to gain by lying about him.
Even knowing what he did, I wanted to confront him and ask him why. Why did he want to cut me? Why did he not at least try to see me? Through various resources, I was able to confirm that, at the age of 40, he died in Riverside, California. Game over.
When I learned about his death, my interest in the Crook side of my family went from curiosity to lack of interest.
What brought on this article? A few days ago, I received an email from someone claiming to be my half-sister. To be certain, I always figured that I might have siblings. I mean, he died in 1997. My mother left him in 1980.
Knowing those two things, I can say that this person could in reality be my sister. Many years ago, I was told that I have a half-brother in California, where Bruce died. I was given his contact information, but I deleted it as I want nothing to do with him, if he even is an actual half-sibling.
As for Bruce, he had a lot of mental issues. He once pushed a woman over and got on top of her. Not to hurt her, but so he could be forced into an insane asylum and have no apologies. He was mentioned in a newspaper article in New Mexico, so he took his act to multiple states.
I was never able to find anything that presented Bruce in a positive light. I think that that’s because he never did have anything going for him.
As for my supposed sister, I challenged her with a few questions about Bruce. I asked her for his full name, his date of birth and whether or not he was still alive. I asked where he lived. I asked what she’d been told by Bruce about me.
Surprisingly, she got every question right. But then again, the answers to the questions that I posed can easily be Googled. I am not convinced that she is telling the truth. But she really has no reason to lie. She has no way to benefit from me knowing that we’re related by DNA only. It’s not as if I have money for her to mooch off of.
I am curious as to how she found me. Mildly curious. I chose to respond to her by acknowledge that she got the questions right. But then I got brutally honest. I told her that our father, assuming that she’s telling the truth, abandoned me when I was two and he never paid a dime in child support.
I told her that he always had a way to get in touch but chose not to avail himself of that ability. I asked her why, after all these years, would she ever contact me? I then advised her that that was a rhetorical question and that I wanted nothing to do with her or the Crook family. I told her to never contact me again.
After telling her all of that, I filtered her email address into the delete folder. Even if she truly is my sister, I have nothing to gain by having her nor any other fictional half-sibling in my life. I have no idea how many times he was married and I have no idea how many, if any, half-siblings I have.
Do I care? No.
I am mildly curious as to how and why she got in contact with me. What’s her motivation? What does she have to gain by me acknowledging that I am not an only child? How did she even find me? I suppose she Googled me and found my website. But the fact that she even knew my name is creepy.
I’m clearly not a family person. I didn’t want my daughter. My marriage of 21 years is almost over. I never wanted siblings. I don’t want to know if she truly is biological family, nor do I care about that supposed brother. Bruce has been dead for almost 30 years, so why? Why now? What’s in it for her or any other supposed half-sibling?
All I can hope for is for the Crooks to leave me be. I have no wealth to offer them. I can give them no pictures or memories. I simply cannot and will not tolerate them even trying to get into my life.
There is nothing for them from me. The fact that these people would even try to reach out to me makes me want to go get a restraining order.