My frequent visitors know that I started off the year by starting a campaign for mayor of Albany. I was the first and only candidate not running on a party line. Yes, yes, I know, I had a snowball’s chance in Hell. Well, I dropped out due to my health situation, something that is not getting any better.
Anyway, earlier this year, I filed the required financial disclosures. Or so I thought. I ended up forgetting to file my July periodic report by July 15th. I also failed to file the form making the end of my campaign official. That’s right, up until 3:00 p.m. today, I was technically still a mayoral candidate.
I got a threatening letter from some douchebag named Michael L. Johnson, Chief Enforcement Counsel. Rather than giving me a friendly reminder, Johnson came in hot. He, in my opinion, acted with malice and threatened me with a $1,000 fine if I didn’t file by the middle of the month. He could have and should have handled it a lot better than he did.
Not only that, but the envelope said in big red letters that I violated election law. You would have thought that I intimidated some little old lady into not voting in the primary or something.
I had to sign for the letter, and the postal worker, who has been helping me for many years now, asked jokingly if I was going to prison. I responded, “yes. My cellmate will ask me what I’m in for, and I’ll tell him that I forgot to file paperwork!” Oh yeah, that would totally get me street cred in the lockup.
Look, people forget about filings, especially in my case. Things got hectic, okay? I started a new job and it just slipped my mind. I did not do it intentionally. Truth be told, I was under the impression that I indicated on my last filing that I was closing out the campaign.
Now, to be fair, there was one form that I kept putting off and putting off. My failure to do that is on me. However, that does not give Johnson the right to treat me like a common criminal. I mean, seriously, what an asshole!
He’s probably got a small dick and that enrages him, so he acts out like this. Either that, or his wife won’t give him any pussy. He probably sent her a letter threatening her with a fine for that one.
I can only hope that Johnson or someone he cares about develops cancer. That would be a fitting punishment for his being an over-reaching pile of excrement. He could have made the first letter cordial and if I ignored that, then he could become an asshat. But, no, he had to turn the nuclear key.
In my case, this was a matter of misunderstanding my previous filing and, yes, a matter of procrastination. So, yes, I am guilty of not staying on top of mundane paperwork. But my errors were innocent, not malicious. I’m not used to dealing with political paperwork. Rather than be kind, or at least professional, Johnson came down hard right out of the gate. Collections agencies act with better ethics than he has. Felons have more morals than I believe that he has.
All I’m saying here is that he could have started off with more civility. I mean, seriously, stamping the letter so people think that I did something big when in fact it was just a matter of paperwork?
A little discretion, especially for something so minor, would have been nice. Maybe he was molested as a child, something that he would have deserved, and this is another way of acting out.
Seriously, I hope that Johnson, while he’s dealing with what will hopefully be cancer, finds himself in error and I hope that the person dealing with him treats him the same way that he treated me. I would go so far as to say that someone needs to give him an attitude adjustment.
The fact of the matter is that today, to remedy the situation before the fine hit, I went to the state Board of Elections and filed the paperwork that satisfied Johnson’s poorly-handled edict. As for Johnson, I wouldn’t shed tears if he or a loved one got taken out by a drunk driver, a perfect person to adjust his attitude.
Now, I don’t know if my failure to file automatically sent up a red flag, or if some troublemaker filed a complaint online. If that’s the case, then I know who did it and, just to be safe, I’ll make life difficult for him and I will do so in a fully legal manner. Even if he didn’t do it, poking him with a stick will be fun.
Yes, I fucked up. But so did Johnson, and he’s supposed to be the professional, the bigger person.
Edited 08/09/2025 at 6:06 p.m.: The state DOE website shows that, on date that this article was published, a no activity report was filed and my campaign is now officially over, no thanks to the jackass who doesn’t know how to be decent human being.