I’ve had an on again, off again relationship with cigarettes. The first time I ever smoked was in my freshman year in high school, making it 1993 when I ditched one of my classes. I’d already found the “secret” smoking spot behind some bushes by the bus loop.
Now, I thought I was slick, but I really wasn’t. It turns out that both the senior with whom I was smoking (she let my bum my first cigarette ever) and I made telltale plume of smoke emerging from the bushes. Yeah, we both got detention for that one.
But it was worth it to me. The first brand I ever smoked was Marlboro, and man, oh man, did they smell and taste so good!
Well, for one reason or another, I gave it up during senior year and I would go on to not touch another cigarette until 2005. My wife caught me because a stupidly left a pack of smokes in my laundry basket and had a mini-breakdown. At the time, I was Mormon and that church aggressively bans smoking.
To keep my wife from bitching at me, I again gave it up. That is, of course, until 2013 when I started smoking once again until 2013 due to extreme stress from my job. And I never smoked another cigarette again.
Until today.
Less than an hour ago, I smoked a cigarette from the carton that I’ve been hiding from my wife. And yes, it still smells and tastes awesome! Now, some might say that I’m engaging in unhealthy practices. Oh, no, cancer, for real this time! Oh, no, addiction!
Well, guess what. I don’t care! Why not? Because I have a variety of health issues and to be honest, I don’t know how old I’ll grow. I had a cancer scare this year that turned out to be nothing more than a very serious bowel obstruction. But I’m getting through that with some minor surgery next month.
And speaking of cancer, I’m at the age where by the time cancer from cigarettes kicks in, I’ll likely be dead anyway, so screw it! If I can limit it to three a day, then perhaps the damage won’t be as bad. Plus, I can’t justify spending $60 a month on smokes.
Of course, I have to deal with NF-1, which is another term for Neurofibromatosis, type 1. I don’t really feel like explaining it and you might or might not care to learn more. If you’re mildly curious, you can read that link. Basically, it’s one of those things that will likely get worse as the older I surprisingly live to be. In other words, it’s time to have fun and the consequences of smoking cigarettes, especially when they’re as satisfying as they are.
I don’t know how many cigarettes I’ll smoke in a day, but whatever it is, it’ll be fun. Of course, it’ll be difficult to hide it from my wife. Smoking outside should reduce the chances of my clothing smelling of cigarettes. That and mouthwash ought to take care of it.
I will continue to smoke Marlboro. Apparently, it’s the most popular Marlboro product, but that’s not why I’m smoking it. It was the first cigarette that I ever had and I’ve only tried a couple of other brands and none of them ever packed the punch that I get out of Marlboro products.
To conclude with, I’ll tell you something that you probably don’t want to hear. Smoking today gave me a huge chubby. Will that happen every time I smoke? I sure hope so, because that adds to the enjoyment.
Anyway, I’m off to smoke another one.