Those of you who have paid close attention to my Goals for 2026 page know that, when I become Albany’s 7th mayor, I will slash the payroll across all departments. I’ve gotten quite a few email messages asking if I’m serious. Yes. Yes, I am!
When elected, I will be like the Grim Reaper, walking through each department, whacking people and, sometimes, whole departments. Yes, I know it’s a lofty goal and yes, I know that it will take some time to accomplish this goal, but it is for the good of the city as a whole and you, the taxpayer.
Here are some of the things that I do when I whack off…
- I will terminate at least 50 police officers and 10 detectives as well as 10 administrative positions.
- I will trim the budget of DGS and I will eliminate 5 positions.
- I will completely demolish the Parking Authority and I will let all of its employees go.
By eliminating the salaries and benefits for the employees within those departments (and I plan to whack people in other departments), I will save you, the taxpayer, a buttload of money.
Also, I will require that all current and future city employees reside in the city. Those current employees who refuse to move into the city (sell your houses, it’s not that big of a deal) will find themselves kicked to the curb.
Yes, when I take office on January 1, 2026, I will usher in changes that previous mayors have been too cowardly to enact. A vote for Michael Crook as mayor of Albany will be a vote for change, a vote for financial stability and a vote for a better, brighter Albany.
I am so dedicated to slashing jobs left and right that I will take the oath dressed as the Grim Reaper. Dead serious. See what I did there?