I’m angrier than a Catholic who lost his rosary over the fact that I might not receive last rites. Over the past couple weeks, I’ve been discussing my Do Not Resuscitate and MOLST (Medical Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment), two legally valid documents in New York state if one does not wish to be resuscitated in the event of cardiac or respiratory arrest. If I am breathing and alive you can best bet that I will refuse medical care at the scene of whatever.
If you want to know more before reading on, then please read this article and then read this special section that I’ve set up. I have everything set up as far as I am concerned. My documents are in compliance, although I have to copy the MOLST in a bright color so that first responders know what to hand the nurse in the emergency department.
I came up with a list of requests that I’d like to be honored at the hospital, in addition to the DNR and MOLST. Hopefully, the wishes will be honored one way or another.
But there’s one more issue to deal with.
Last rites.
I’ll be adding another page to my documents that will be on my person at all times away from home. On that piece of paper, should there be no hospital chaplain, will be my parish phone number and the words “Last Rites,” in the event that the chaplain is not on duty. The last thing I want to do, for example, is drag a priest out of bed.
The phone is answered during the business day by the office administrator and overnight by priests.
In the event that I’m in a condition to receive last rites, one of the priests will respond. If I die in the ambulance or brought in DOA, then I’m out of luck. But there’s a way to address that issue.
I know the procedure at my parish and, if one of my priests can’t make it, hopefully, again, there will be a priest on duty at the hospital.
I realize there could be a lot of scenarios:
- I’m in cardiac or respiratory and declared dead at the scene, making last rites moot.
- Given that the paramedics are barred from rendering any medical aid whatsoever, I could die in the ambulance. No aid would be rendered.
- I could arrive at the hospital alive, depending on the situation, but could die within minutes or an hour or so of arriving, given that doctors and nurses are likewise barred from tending to me.
In those scenarios, I’d probably not have time for last rites unless a priest was right there. If I’m technically alive, but doctors cannot do anything than give me “comfort care.”
In that scenario, I’d hope that one of “my” priests is able to get there and if not, another priest will have to do. I’ve gotten to know my priests and I’d prefer to get last rites from one of them. If there’s no opportunity for a priest, then my priests will know what to do as far as dying without last rites and Anointing of The Sick.
If I make it to hospice or whatever they have, and I am not conscious or I am nearing death because of no one being legally allowed to help me, I do know what my wishes are.
The only request that I have is that, if possible, if I’m hanging on for some stubborn reason, someone plays Nearer, My God, To Thee. I like this version of the beloved hymn. This is what I want played in the unlikely event that I somehow hang on in the hospital. I think I would go in peace. That hymn would give me the peace that I would need.
But this could all be moot, because the most likely scenario is that I’m already dead when I get to the hospital, meaning that I died in the ambulance or if I was already dead when the paramedics got there, hence the DNR bracelet and paperwork.
But, again, I am firm on wanting to die alone, with that one exception.
I’ve made the contact information and final wishes part of my pocket packet in a separate color so hopefully someone sees it and makes it happen.
If possible, I would like a Funeral Mass, with only the closest of friends, associates and family. To that end, I have a list much like a bouncer would have at a club or whatever. That list is made up of twenty-two people. If a person’s name is not on the list, I want that person turned away. This includes almost all people from my former religion (which I refuse to validate by mentioning it by name).
As I’ve stated many times before, this is not about suicide. Not in the least. After all, if I’m Ghost Mike, I can’t use all my cool stuff! This whole issue might not even happen. I might, sadly, live to be old and pass in my sleep.
What this is about is dying peacefully without any intervention from anyone. This is because of my medical conditions that could cause severe brain damage and drastically reduce my quality of life.
My severe seizures could trigger a stroke and that would not be something I’d want to live with, assuming that I survive. I don’t want to have to wear diapers and I don’t want to be a vegetable.
It’s the same reason why a lot of people, albeit older, draw up a DNR and MOLST. They aren’t suicidal. They just want to go with dignity and with no intervention as that would drag things along.
In all truthfulness, I hope to pass before the ambulance even gets there. That, along with my documents, will ensure that I do pass in a dignified, silent manner.
On my medically-induced terms.