Almost pounced upon by an “apostle”?

I’m angrier than a person who almost got stomped upon by a man who thinks he’s an apostle of our Lord Jesus Christ.  I’m mad because I didn’t jump up and punch him.  This story goes back to 2011 and can be verified by several people.

Back in 2013, I was still a member of the “Mormon” church and on one Sunday, we had a stake reorganization meeting.  A stake in their church is their version of a diocese.  The reorganization had to do with installing a new stake president, which is their version of a Catholic bishop.The night before, I helped with various things and attended a priesthood meeting, which was strictly for men who held the priesthood.  The meeting took place in Rome, New York, where I lived at that time.

On Sunday morning, I was extremely tired.  I didn’t want to go to the meeting.  But I went anyway to help direct traffic because of the high volume of members who came to see who they consider to be an “apostle.”

A high-ranking priesthood authority always attends a reorganization meeting because the stake president has to be released and a new one has to be “called,” or kind of “sworn into” the volunteer position that lasts about ten years.  The new stake president is chosen by two high-ranking church officials on the Saturday night before he is presented to the membership.

The “apostle” who visited was one David A. Bednar, who was accompanied by an Area Seventy (they chose the new SP after interviewing a long line of men who wanted the gig), another high-ranking official.  That Seventy was Elder Eyring, not to be confused with President Eyring of The First Presidency of the church.

Eyring spoke first.  About what?  Hell, I don’t remember.  What I do remember is that he bored me so much that I nodded off to sleep.  Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem, but my wife and I were in the third row, directly in front of Bednar, who was sitting to the left of Eyring.

Here’s where it gets funny: I awoke to my wife elbowing me in the ribs and when my eyes focused, I saw Bednar with a very angry look on his face.  He started to get up out of this chair and he looked as if he was preparing to pounce on me.

My survival instincts kicked in and I stood up, ready to punch him if needed.  It didn’t come to that, but if I had punched an “apostle,” even when it was justified, I would have become “that guy” in my ward (think Catholic parish).  But I was completely ready to defend myself and even launch a first strike.  I’ve never respected or honored Bednar, so it would have been a pleasure to make him bleed in front of about 10,000 people.

When Bednar sat back down, so did I, so there was no physical confrontation.  In the interest of full disclosure, perhaps he was still angry with me from the previous night.  At the priesthood meeting, there was a Q&A session.  I’d prepared for this moment for a few days, purposefully coming up with a question so bizarre, so offensive, that I would have successfully trolled him.

Oh, wait!  I did end up trolling him.  My question was how the church planned to embrace its gay members and what sort of programs the church was preparing to fellowship the homosexuals.  Of course I didn’t care and of course I didn’t want to do anything for filthy homosexuals.  But I immediately angered Bednar.  He curtly answered, “there is no program,” and went on to the next question.  I could tell I’d trolled him and that I did my job.

I find the whole thing funny because a so-called apostle in the Mormon church is supposed to be Christlike, loving, patient and of good moral character.  Bednar, in my opinion, is none of those things.  He certainly wasn’t Christlike that day.

Of course I’m going to fall asleep if I’m bored in church.  I don’t care who it is, especially if it’s in the Mormon church, which is a church where almost nothing they believe and teach is true.  I am no longer a member of that church.  I left of my own volition in late April, and I haven’t looked back.  I’ve been a Catholic since 2022 and I don’t regret it one bit.

Very few people noticed the incident, but I will always remember the day when an “apostle” lost his cool over a simple nap.  From what I’ve heard about him, that’s the sort of person who he really is.  That day, he showed his true colors and I was the one to troll him not once, but twice.

I reached out to the church to get a comment regarding the conduct of one of its “apostles,” but, no surprise, there was no response.  I guess the church has no problem with its authority figures behaving like that.  At least I tried to play fair, right?

I need to be clear here: I do not wish the Mormon church (or LDS or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) any ill will.  I put “apostle” in quotation marks not to attack the church, but to make it clear that the only apostles are the ones who Jesus Christ Himself appointed.

Remember! the Catholic Church was founded by Jesus Christ in AD 33.  The Mormon church was founded in 1830 by a very dishonest, polygamous man who slept with a 14-year-old girl and who made up all manner of lies in the name of supposed “revelations” from God.  Not attacking.  But sometimes, the truth hurts.

Until we meet again!



(Photo credit: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)